The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
