I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
