I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
