Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
