So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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