these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
