But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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