From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
not ubering you a puppy
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
