I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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