my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
