Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
