O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I enjoy the company of your penis
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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