You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
