Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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