She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
