Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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