great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Semen is not good for contacts.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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