we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
