Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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