puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
