so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
