well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
