omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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