Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
