so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
