Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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