I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
