I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
