I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
