Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
