it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
