I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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