i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
