I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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