my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
