I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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