He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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