I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
