BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
