.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
