Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
