3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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