Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
