Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
this hospital has no fireball
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
