Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
