So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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