If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
