CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
