May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
