Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
