i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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