I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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