real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
