is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
