somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just want to make out with him forever
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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