I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
