We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm sobbing to NWA
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
