im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
