Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
