Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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