she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
