This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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